Getting a bit punch drunk

Okay, the screen is getting a bit blurry. I'm having trouble clearing my eyes. But I just dropped some mad business on facebook chat, business being ridiculousness (ridiculosity, if you will, which I will, but you don't have to- free country and all, unless you're not from the States/other countries with similar provisions regarding speech). So let's talk pie.

But first let's talk New Year's resolutions. I've got a bunch. I'll probably do a whole post on things I want to improve about myself in the New Year. But the big one that I've wanted to do is to bake at least one dessert every two weeks. And since I was out of town for New Year's proper, I figured I'd make something beforehand. So I give you....

The Bavarian Apple Torte/Tart With Streusel Topping AKA... Dammit I had a good nickname for this that I forgot. I'll let you know when it comes back. Anyhoo, pictures and recipe time! Also terrible caption time.

CAN'T TELL THE PROGRAM WITHOUT YOUR PLAYERS:

Okay, here's a weird sort of idea of the ingredients- I didn't get a right proper picture of them, because there were quite a few, and I was catching my train out to Munich that night. Thankfully Bev wasn't there or I'd have been even more stressed. BUT! Here's what I can gather are ingredients from my cooking notebook. It's kept sorta like a lab notebook, but with those super technical and precise terms like "eyeball" and "to taste." So!

Flour-185 g
White sugar-130 g
Brown Sugar-120 g
Vanilla-1.5 tsp
Butter (I used half salted for crust, unsalted for streusel)-50 g unsalted (cold), ~115 g half-salted (softened)
Petit Suisse (basically a cream cheese substitute)-240 g (about 8 oz), softened
Egg-1
Gala apples-4 (peeled and cored)
Cinnamon- To taste/Eyeball
Sliced almonds- Recipe called for half cup; I eyeballed it

THE CITIZENS OF CRUSTY-TOWN THANK YOU:

To the crust! The initial recipe I was using said to use a springform pan. I could not find a springform pan. The pie still worked out wonderfully. So use what you want. Anyhoo. For the crust, I took:

125 g flour
50 g white sugar
25 g brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla

and mixed all that in a bowl. Then, I eyeballed the salted butter (hence the ~ up top) and mixed it together. I then pressed it into the pie pan as best I could (new at this pie crust thing) and worked it up the sides a bit. And doesn't it look just wonderful!

...

You didn't have to answer that if you didn't have anything nice to say.

CREAMY GOODNESS ALL UP IN YO BOWL:

This pie also calls for a delicious layer of creamy goodness. This got a bit tricky on the recipe, mainly because cream cheese proper is hard to find in France. But I heard that there were some types that subbed well, so I tried this Petit Suisse thing (and now need to find a way to get rid of another 500 g of it). Seemed to work pretty well, so there you go French readers. All few of you.

Anyhoo, recipe!

I took:

1/2 tsp vanilla
240 g Petit Suisse, softened
40 g white sugar
10 g brown sugar

And mixed the heck out of it in a bowl. Then, I added one egg and mixed that in quite something fierce. I almost said thoroughly, but I thought this was getting a bit too formal. Formal don't fly here right now.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES:

And on to the apples! I peeled and cored those 4 gala apples and then sliced them reasonably thinly. I like cutting things thinly. Makes me feel like a man.

I probably shouldn't have typed that last bit.

Anyway, I took those apples, threw them in a sauce pan, and added:

40 g white sugar
30 g brown sugar
and Cinnamon to taste (well, smell really)

Then, I heated everything up in the saucepan and stirred things around to get the apples nice and coated and a bit tender. I added some more cinnamon in the process. Also, around this time, I heated the oven to T7, which is 210/230 C, which is around 450 F, which is around 485/500 K. That's right. I like me some Kelvin scale.

COL. LANDA WOULD BE PROUD:

With the rest of the pie (i.e., everything for the initial recipe) in play, I started on the streusel. Sweet, delicious streusel.

I used:

60 g flour
55 g brown sugar
Dash of cinnamon

And I mixed that in a bowl. I then cut in some of that cold, unsalted butter (50 g, cubed) and mixed some more.

ALL TOGETHER NOW/COOKING UP THE PLAN:

And now that everything was made, I started to put things together. That's how we rolled in the Striplin lab, and that's how I'ma roll in this kitchen. So remember that delicious cream stuff? Oh yeah. That got poured right the eff over that crust. Except for what stayed in the bowl and contributed to what will probably develop into diabetes, but it was totally worth it. Pure delicious.

Then, I slid the apples onto the cream filling. I started making it all presentable, but honestly, I was feeling a bit pressed for time (packing and meeting some people before I headed off to Munich and Passau for New Years), so by the end I was just sorta dropping them on where there was space. And then I started to add streusel before remembering to actually take some pictures.

And there you have the streusel all added atop that deliciousness. Right before it goes into the hot, hot oven in that hot, hot kitchen. As for time, you keep it at T7 (all that other noise) for 10 minutes before dropping it to T6 (AKA 400 F, 200 C, 475 K) for another 25. And then we'll get to the next stage. But that's coming up!

And there it's cooking. Look at that streusel tan. Yeah, I didn't want to align this picture anyway.

And there's the pie done with its first stage! Probably would be a bit less crispy on the sides with a springform, but that's what I get for not being able to find one in France and going with nonstick.

SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT:

So now that the pie is initially baked, you add some almonds. You basically just throw them on, because damn is that oven hot, and maybe your landlady doesn't seem to have proper oven mitts, so you're trying to keep from burning any towels or anything. And yeah, they got eyeballed. But it's not un-pretty, right? Right?

Touché.

And basically you let the almonds chill there until they go brownish. I didn't really keep the pie centered enough, so I didn't get a very even heat on the almonds, hence the burningness around 1 or 2 o'clock.









URNF (AKA That noise you make when you're eating something that's still really hot but so delicious that you don't want to spit it out or do anything to save your slowly crisping tongue):

So I had initially baked this pie as sort of a thank you to the landlady and the daughter and all that for putting up with me. But then I got it baked and it looked like the above picture, and I was just like dayum. That's a fine pie.

So I carved myself out a little piece before bolting out the door. Not a big one, mind.

But it was gone pretty quickly. It was basically as delicious as it tasted.

And as for the aftermath...

Well, I made the pie on December 29, 2010. I got back into town January 3, 2011. There were MAYBE 2 small slices that had been taken out. Bev said she liked it but that it was too heavy (I think French pies are too light, so whatever). She also insisted on calling it a cake- I haven't bothered correcting her, since I suppose the French might use the terms differently, and their word for pie is "tarte," which would imply a lack of top crust. She also also apparently had a food bug that kept her from eating more of it. As for Bev, Jr., she apparently not only wasn't a fan (had one slice), but also (according to Bev) said that I didn't/couldn't have made the pie.

So for future baking, I'm thinking the teachers at my school may have some benefits. And of course, other assistants out here. Until I'm back in the States, when it's a whole new ball game.

To sum up: Rob made a deliciou apple pie that America is all about, and the French weren't huge on it. Ergo, the French hate liberty and freedom.

Sweeping generalization for the win? Possibly so.