Rob Needs To Tone Down The Google Image Searches

You know, I started this not knowing what to say.

That's not to say that I know what to say now, but I igure it's time to get back to an old muse.

No, not Grumpy Cat. That minx.

No, we're talking about bourbon and British television on Netflix. I mean, what else could possibly be done on a Saturday night? Going out? Doing things other than trying to be "productive?"


Get out of here, Tard!

But enough of that. I need to get some actual bourbon. It wouldn't be proper elsewise.

Ah, bourbon. You saucy vixen, you. (Get it? SAUCY? You know, like, "hitting the sauce?" Try to keep up. This is some complicated humor going on right here.) Unfortunately, I think I may have been ruined by my pop's (yeah, Dad, you get to be a "pop" tonight. Watch out for hopping children, now.) FANTASTIC taste in bourbon.

BELLIES BEWARE

I am just going bonkers on the images tonight, aren't I? Amn't I? I've never quite gotten that grammatical construction. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I blame the MLA. APA, don't think you're getting out unscathed.

He gives money to medical schools so we know how to do this EXTRA well. Take THAT, APA.

Well, now that I've wasted a solid page to say, oh, you know, effectively nothing, because I'm awesome like that, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to say something of some sort of substance.

For example. Because if you don't like Emma Stone, you don't like America.

Now that gif is making me laugh like gangbusters. Curse your incredibly expressive face, Emma Stone (and mostly the fact that it cannot be miiiiiine but not in a weird creepy serial killer way because that would be weird and could result in restraining orders and other judicial action. And that's terrible.)


No, not "Trouble." Terrible. It's an easy mistake to make, Professor Hill. Don't be so hard on yourself.

I... I think I've had more images than I've had actual text. I would say that this is somewhat surprising or some such, but let's face it, I haven't exactly been a pinnacle of verbosity as of late.

Okay, so the Mormon episode of South Park is on Netflix right now. I enjoyed it pretty well the first time that I saw it, and there was some decent sort of satire of the religion without being flat out malignant against the believers (okay, they're a little malignant). And, I mean, then there was The Book of Mormon, which had some catchy tunes, because the South Park folks can put together a mean musical (see: South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, which was pretty freaking amazing). But South Park is not the issue here. You here me? SOUTH PARK IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE. Heck, Mormonism is NOT the issue.

MORMONISM IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE, DUDE.

Let's have a brief flashback, shall we? (Lord knows I get enough of those during the day, AM I RIGHT? Oh, I just made this weird, didn't I? Sorry about that.) March, 2011. I'm almost done with my time in France (for better or worse). There are good times past and good times to come, but those aren't the issue. My parents had come to visit, and we were ALL UP ON the Normandy area. It was a pretty good time. We took trains around some various places and saw various things, none of which are the issue here. Well, one of them is.

See, we're in the train station, which of course means there's a newsstand shop, where you can buy magazines and such. Some things are pretty universal. Like those little shops, for instance. Anyway, we're waiting for our train, and I take a look at this newsstand (like I do, because I don't actually want to BUY a magazine or newspaper, but headlines are all you need, right?)

Well, I see a headline that (literally) translated to "Who are the Mormons?" I did a quick Google search for the phrase (in French, of course), and while I couldn't find a picture of the actual headline, I did find several articles from at least one high profile French newspaper talking about how Mormons are trying to rule the world and how, no, "they aren't Amish," and then proceed to explain who the Amish are.

I get that there are some denominations that are pretty limited to the US. I get that these can seem a bit ridiculous to other countries.
But when I see a certain other group's HQ located next to a closed historical landmark, I have to wonder if they don't have their priorities mixed up.

We're on to you. Not in a lawyering way. That would just be ridiculous.