Well, dang

Yeah, I know. February is the month where New Year's resolutions go to die. My excuses are bad, and I should feel bad.

Don't worry, Dr. Zoidberg- I do.

"But, Rob," you may cry (and in this case, you do, because we're in my imagination now. In fact, I just saw an image perfect for that. Let's go find it, shall we?

The sad thing is that now I can only think of rate-limiting step or steady state approximations. Thanks, Doc.

And now back to the parenthetical in which we were discussing the delicate balance betwixt fiction and reality. And now back to the actual speaker we had a few lines ago.), "what could have kept you from this sacred duty of resolutioning?"

Well, if you must pry, most recently, it was due to a call of nature. I'm not proud of it, but nor will I allow myself to be shamed by the likes of you for having such functions. If you continue to deny me my right to poop when necessary, then we're gonna have trouble.

Good to see you again, Professor. As always, your timing is impeccable.

Of course, that really only accounts for 30 minutes of my whatever that word is that I'm looking for. I really can't come up with it. But anyway, let's do a run-down of what has kept me from keeping up with my one-a-week promise.

When last we left this intrepid blog, it was February 2nd, it was. Now it's March 1st. So, week by week (and maybe even day by day), let's do a quick recap.

The week of February 3rd-9th: Well, spirits were high going into the week. At some point, I may have received a nomination for the annual beauty pageant at my school. That was pretty cool. More on that later. More importantly, though, the 8th and the 9th (when a blog post would normally have reared its beautiful and magnificent head) was the start of study week. For those of you who don't know, this tends to make my life turn from the normal mix of insanity, absurdity, debauchery, and trivia into:

Well, okay, study week. Not the best excuse, but not bad, sir. Not bad.

February 10th-16th: Um, it's still study week. And test week. And dance practice for the pageant (LADIES). Friday was the test. After that, I think I went out for a couple of beers, and then there was dinner with the folks (Thanks again! It was great!) and a general feeling of "Why did I have a couple of beers in mid-afternoon? You know that this never ends well for you." (Note: This is not to say that I blacked out or anything of that sort. Day drinking that stops for some period of time tends to result in me getting a fierce headache and general ickiness.) I then joined my classmates at the bar du soir and was endlessly told how well I was going to do at the pageant. It was a wonderful display of solidarity undercut by the crippling pressure of what I had to live up to.

So much pressure to take good pictures.

And then Saturday I just had other things to do I guess.

February 17th-23rd: Well, I had to get ready for the pageant, of course. That meant practice, practice, practice, sleep, practice, and practice. I barely got things together in time. Then the pageant happened, and next thing I knew, I had the cast of Alien trying to bore its way out of my head. So that's where last week went.

This past week, well. There were problems.

Sunday: Psht. I know I should write something, but I should also go to trivia with some friends. That'd be fun. And it was! Aside from the announcer's idiocy (herp derp 10 million sales is the right answer instead of diamond status herp derp).

This image took way too many tries to find. This is also offensive to somebody, hopefully the host who can't host.

Monday- Well, I had to go to a seminar at 5, and I needed to work on finding sources for a paper due in a couple of weeks. Maybe I'd even study a lecture. Couldn't just let blogging get in the way of productivity.

Tuesday: I was actually going to go home and blog after trivia. I had a decent buzz going, and I was ready to write something. And then Vespa laid down the almighty "WHY AREN'T YOU HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. YOU ARE SO LAME." guilt trip. Thanks, Vespa. I feel much better about drinking more now.

Wednesday: Oh, also, at some point after the pageant, I pulled a muscle in my chest. This, obviously, really fucking hurt. Rather than take the hint of, "Hey, dumbass, take it easy for a few days," I proceeded to work out on Sunday and Tuesday. Wednesday, I realized that maybe I should take it easy. Of course, on Tuesday night, a cold front rolled on through, so I woke up with a fierce cold that was not helped by the extreme pain associated with coughing and/or sneezing. So I felt pretty crappy, and I was probably still trying to do some work on this paper.

Thursday: Well, Thursday is trivia. I can't not go to trivia. Haven't you been paying attention.

Friday: I was going to finish the paper. I didn't.

AND THAT BRINGS US TO TODAY!

Finally. Geez. That was painful to write. I can't imagine what it was like to read. Some of that might be due to me not having had breakfast yet. Some of it might be due to me being out of practice due to missing four straight weeks of blogging. So here's what's going to happen.

I figure that I need to make up for four weeks of lollygagging. With this, maybe I've gotten through one. This means you get extra blog posts this week.

More importantly, it means that I've delivered my message in my usual roundabout way, and I can now make some fucking blueberry pancakes. I'm hungry. Lay off me.

I was going to include an image of blueberry pancakes here. Apparently, there are no especially appetizing pictures of blueberry pancakes on Google Images. I have no intention of changing that, because I'm going to eat the bajeezus out of these pancakes as soon as they take form, like some sort of post-modern Cronus. Hipster Cronus? (Aw, nothing for that on Google Images, either.)

This will have to do.

Hipster Hendricks smells blueberry pancakes. Bring it, Hipster Hendricks.