As you may have heard through your travels on the Internets (dangerous as that may be- you really should have a chaperone to watch for the nastier stuff, like flashing glitter unicorn images or cursors trailed by rainbows), Kim Kardashian balanced a wine glass on her ass we landed a spacecraft on a comet, which is pretty freaking impressive. Well, I say "we." This isn't particularly accurate, given that (according to Blogger, at least) the bulk of my reading audience is in the USA (although today a couple of folks in the Ukraine have been reading, and some folks in Poland have been reading a lot this week, so I guess I'm becoming an international sensation. Ukranian and Polish readers, send a message in a bottle if you're out there. I may not get it, but, hey, we need more bottles in the ocean, right?). I mean, from a human race point of view, yes, we landed a spacecraft on a comet, but it was really a group of scientists out of Europe (the European Space Agency, which is headquartered in Paris and get s good chunk of funding from the European Union, apparently- who knew?) who designed a lander that was capable of identifying a viable landing site and performing the tasks necessary for landing itself on a comet rocketing through space. Even that's selling it short. It tried to harpoon a comet. I mean, it didn't, because apparently its harpoons didn't fire, and then its thrusters didn't fire properly. So basically, it went out there to wrangle Moby Dick, and its harpoons didn't work and its oars stopped working. AND STILL IT HELD ON.
That's like what they did in the first J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie (and, in case you were too distracted by lens flares (yeah, I know, a lens flare joke, original) to notice, it killed a red shirt AND ALMOST SULU. Facebook wouldn't be the same), but with a robot and a moving target. What. I mean, come on. What. And why did we do this? To find out what a comet is made of!
Come on, European Space Agency scientists. That's not why you did it. You did it because you can. You did it because you saw Star Wars and Armageddon and thought, hey. I can do that, but with a 28 minute delay. In fact, I can make something that will do all of that, and it'll have harpoons. Yeah. I'ma spear me a comet as revenge for taking out the dinosaurs and making it impossible (well, until the biologists get their shit together, because, I mean, biologists, am I right? "Oh, I work with cells, my stuff is so important." If it's so important, then why do WE get Neil de Grasse Tyson, Bill Nye, and Carl Sagan? Who do YOU have? Richard Dawkins? Adorable.) to have a T-Rex as a pet. Yes, you could have shifted that parenthetical to a more convenient place to avoid disrupting the syntax, but you know what? You landed a robot on a goddamned comet. You get to do what you want for a little bit.
I remember I was at my parents' house a year or so ago, and the conversation turned away from living wills and death and soccer (hey, there's a reason why we drink so much). I had been doing work in the lab for a little while now, and, I guess that I seemed like a pretty smart guy (regardless of whether or not that was an appropriate conclusion to draw). My folks asked me what I research I would fund if I had my druthers. Yes, we say things like "druthers." You clearly haven't been reading my blog enough, because I use some funky-ass words in here that haven't seen the light of day since the 1920s.
Anyway, I think I hesitated for all of ten seconds before I said that I'd fund space travel. Yes, I do biology. I get that. Maybe I've drunk a bit too much of Tyson's Kool-Aid, but I think there's a good case to be made for it.
First off, it gets people excited. We're going to space. It's a great unknown that's accessible to everyone. Yeah, the ocean is arguably just as unknown and has a whole lot more cool (AKA FREAKING TERRIFYING) stuff, but if you live in the middle of Iowa? You can't see the ocean. It's this abstract concept for you. Space, though. You look up, and you can see stars. You might not appreciate how far away they are or how they can royally eff you up (or how they could if they and/or you weren't dead by the time you got to them), but they're still right there. Just making it into orbit is huge deal. People will turn out to watch a shuttle launch. Hell, ten of the top 50 grossing movies of all time involve aliens or some sort of space travel (and three of those were the highest grossing movie ever at the time). Space is awesome and is a pretty big deal.
Second off, the amount of research and funding needed for space travel is enormous, to say nothing of the opportunities for research that it provides (although, let's face it, I'm going to say SOMETHING about the opportunities for research that it provides. You want to get something into space? It had better hold up against the forces needed for it to get into space. It had better be light enough to get into space without using ALL THE FUEL! (Sorry- force of habit.) If you want it to come back to Earth, it had better be able to withstand the temperatures required for re-entry. Oh, and it had better be cheap enough to make sufficient amounts to build prototypes, actual crafts, and still have some left over for repairs if necessary. I guess you'd better start designing some new materials to make all of that happen.
Oh, you want people to go into space? Well, I hope you've designed the craft with enough space for people and their necessary supplies. I hope you've designed clothing that can protect them from the radiation out there while also being maneuverable and potentially airtight (if, you know, they want to go outside). Do you have a means for them to communicate with people on the ship or back on Earth with any sort of ease in the event of an emergency (or to just reduce the feelings of isolation and maintain morale)?
While you're at it, what does space do to people? What happens when you're in zero gravity for that long? What can we do to reverse any effects that it might have? How do you deal with waste disposal? With air? With food? You've got limited space and weight, so how do you cope with that?
So far we've been able to handle these sorts of problems. I'd even venture to say that we've handled them pretty well, given that astronauts have started making posts on Youtube about what life is like in space and how things change when you don't have gravity bringing you down (yuk yuk yuk), and I hear there has been some interesting science into what a zero-G environment does to protein folding and cell growth. (Again, I say we, but the U.S. doesn't seem to be doing too much of this at the moment, although there are the privatized ventures into space travel that are certainly interesting.)
That said, the longest anyone has been in space is for 437 days (a year and a couple of months, for those keeping count). That's not enough for moving past Earth. That's barely enough to read Heart of Darkness (longest 80 page book ever). What happens when we decide to go to Mars? Further? How do you fit enough supplies on the ship? Do you keep the crew awake the whole time? Do you try for some sort of suspended animation (like, you know, most movies out there)? If so, I hope you've found a way to do that without any major side effects, because I sure don't know of a way yet, but that sure would be useful for, say, heart attacks in rural areas.
And what if we try to move more people out there? How do you make a space station that can accommodate that many people? How do you handle growing that much food? Hydroponics? Something else? What about power? Solar cells are a somewhat obvious choice, but then you're trying to store power and deal with heat dissipation, which is pretty difficult without convection.
Look, space is pretty cool, and it's a shame that we haven't gone out there more. Yes, we have a lot of research to do before we tackle some of the next hurdles (e.g., going back to the moon to pick up the litter we left behind, taking said litter to Mars, mooning aliens), but doesn't that mean that we should start the research? We've decided that space isn't worth the cost, but by funding space travel and exploration, we open the door to answering questions that have just as much applicability on our little blue rock. Plus, we could harpoon a few more comets.
 |
| "Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee." |
Come on, European Space Agency scientists. That's not why you did it. You did it because you can. You did it because you saw Star Wars and Armageddon and thought, hey. I can do that, but with a 28 minute delay. In fact, I can make something that will do all of that, and it'll have harpoons. Yeah. I'ma spear me a comet as revenge for taking out the dinosaurs and making it impossible (well, until the biologists get their shit together, because, I mean, biologists, am I right? "Oh, I work with cells, my stuff is so important." If it's so important, then why do WE get Neil de Grasse Tyson, Bill Nye, and Carl Sagan? Who do YOU have? Richard Dawkins? Adorable.) to have a T-Rex as a pet. Yes, you could have shifted that parenthetical to a more convenient place to avoid disrupting the syntax, but you know what? You landed a robot on a goddamned comet. You get to do what you want for a little bit.
 |
| Party at Hawking's. Don't wait up. |
I remember I was at my parents' house a year or so ago, and the conversation turned away from living wills and death and soccer (hey, there's a reason why we drink so much). I had been doing work in the lab for a little while now, and, I guess that I seemed like a pretty smart guy (regardless of whether or not that was an appropriate conclusion to draw). My folks asked me what I research I would fund if I had my druthers. Yes, we say things like "druthers." You clearly haven't been reading my blog enough, because I use some funky-ass words in here that haven't seen the light of day since the 1920s.
 |
| Why, that's boss, applesauce. Ah, horsefeathers, that's the veritable bee's knees! |
Anyway, I think I hesitated for all of ten seconds before I said that I'd fund space travel. Yes, I do biology. I get that. Maybe I've drunk a bit too much of Tyson's Kool-Aid, but I think there's a good case to be made for it.
First off, it gets people excited. We're going to space. It's a great unknown that's accessible to everyone. Yeah, the ocean is arguably just as unknown and has a whole lot more cool (AKA FREAKING TERRIFYING) stuff, but if you live in the middle of Iowa? You can't see the ocean. It's this abstract concept for you. Space, though. You look up, and you can see stars. You might not appreciate how far away they are or how they can royally eff you up (or how they could if they and/or you weren't dead by the time you got to them), but they're still right there. Just making it into orbit is huge deal. People will turn out to watch a shuttle launch. Hell, ten of the top 50 grossing movies of all time involve aliens or some sort of space travel (and three of those were the highest grossing movie ever at the time). Space is awesome and is a pretty big deal.
Second off, the amount of research and funding needed for space travel is enormous, to say nothing of the opportunities for research that it provides (although, let's face it, I'm going to say SOMETHING about the opportunities for research that it provides. You want to get something into space? It had better hold up against the forces needed for it to get into space. It had better be light enough to get into space without using ALL THE FUEL! (Sorry- force of habit.) If you want it to come back to Earth, it had better be able to withstand the temperatures required for re-entry. Oh, and it had better be cheap enough to make sufficient amounts to build prototypes, actual crafts, and still have some left over for repairs if necessary. I guess you'd better start designing some new materials to make all of that happen.
 |
| And for that, you're going to need a Tony Stark montage, preferably with 80's power ballads. Maybe hire Kenny Loggins. |
Oh, you want people to go into space? Well, I hope you've designed the craft with enough space for people and their necessary supplies. I hope you've designed clothing that can protect them from the radiation out there while also being maneuverable and potentially airtight (if, you know, they want to go outside). Do you have a means for them to communicate with people on the ship or back on Earth with any sort of ease in the event of an emergency (or to just reduce the feelings of isolation and maintain morale)?
While you're at it, what does space do to people? What happens when you're in zero gravity for that long? What can we do to reverse any effects that it might have? How do you deal with waste disposal? With air? With food? You've got limited space and weight, so how do you cope with that?
So far we've been able to handle these sorts of problems. I'd even venture to say that we've handled them pretty well, given that astronauts have started making posts on Youtube about what life is like in space and how things change when you don't have gravity bringing you down (yuk yuk yuk), and I hear there has been some interesting science into what a zero-G environment does to protein folding and cell growth. (Again, I say we, but the U.S. doesn't seem to be doing too much of this at the moment, although there are the privatized ventures into space travel that are certainly interesting.)
That said, the longest anyone has been in space is for 437 days (a year and a couple of months, for those keeping count). That's not enough for moving past Earth. That's barely enough to read Heart of Darkness (longest 80 page book ever). What happens when we decide to go to Mars? Further? How do you fit enough supplies on the ship? Do you keep the crew awake the whole time? Do you try for some sort of suspended animation (like, you know, most movies out there)? If so, I hope you've found a way to do that without any major side effects, because I sure don't know of a way yet, but that sure would be useful for, say, heart attacks in rural areas.
 |
| Fry doesn't count, as he lacks the delta brain wave due to being his own grandfather. Also, I thought about finding a picture that included Seymour, but I didn't want to make myself sad. |
And what if we try to move more people out there? How do you make a space station that can accommodate that many people? How do you handle growing that much food? Hydroponics? Something else? What about power? Solar cells are a somewhat obvious choice, but then you're trying to store power and deal with heat dissipation, which is pretty difficult without convection.
 |
| You lied to me, Tim Robbins in Mission to Mars. But, hey, at least your eyes didn't explode. |
Look, space is pretty cool, and it's a shame that we haven't gone out there more. Yes, we have a lot of research to do before we tackle some of the next hurdles (e.g., going back to the moon to pick up the litter we left behind, taking said litter to Mars, mooning aliens), but doesn't that mean that we should start the research? We've decided that space isn't worth the cost, but by funding space travel and exploration, we open the door to answering questions that have just as much applicability on our little blue rock. Plus, we could harpoon a few more comets.
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